A 9-day journey through mountain storms, remote trails, and the heart of Central Asia’s wildest Stan.

I know why you’re here. You want an adventure that doesn’t come with souvenir shops or matching tour group hats. You yearn for something wild, untamed, and just a tad off the grid. 

So buckle up, babe. We’re headed to Kyrgyzstan – and what unfolds from here is anything but predictable.

In a world that feels mapped and measured, only 0.185% of the world’s population will ever set foot on these remote, rugged steppes. And if you dare to make it all the way to Kel-Suu Lake? We're talking a microscopic 0.00018%. 

That’s right. You’ll be standing in a spot so rare, 99.99982% of humanity will never breathe its air. I did it, and it was pretty freaking cool. 

In fact, it felt so surreal, I knew I had to document it — the beauty, the breakdowns, the blisters, and the magic. What followed was an epic journey with my best friend: nine days of wild terrain, questionable bathrooms, and moments that cracked me wide open.

Here’s the journey, told in snapshots and field notes:

Day One: Bishkek, Purple Pants & Culture Toilet Shock

Itinerary:

Rolled into Bishkek at 5 a.m. after a full day of travel — delirious, puffy-eyed, and, in retrospect, wildly under-prepared for cultural differences. The airport? A sea of local men. Us? The only foreign women in sight. I was clad head-to-toe in purple (yes, including an iridescent violet suitcase), standing there like a glittery grape thinking, “Oh wow, we are definitely not in Kansas Canada anymore.”

Highlight: 

The surreal moment of trudging through customs in full lilac glam, feeling both wildly out of place and exactly where I was supposed to be. Plus, nothing could have prepared me for arriving in Bishkek just as the sky turned gold. The sunrise views at the foothills of the Tian Shan mountains?  Pure magic.

Challenge: 

Kyrgyz toilets. Oof. Stopped at a gas station, asked for the bathroom, got pointed down a dirt path to a shed. Opened the door to find… a carved-out hole in the wood floor. No seat, no instructions, just gravity.

(Runner-up: Figuring out how to drive in Bishkek, where traffic rules seem more like suggestions and roundabouts are survival games.)

Coolest Thing I Saw: 

A car so overloaded with boxes, crates, and maybe furniture(?) it looked like a small, fast-moving mountain.

Most Surprising Thing I Ate:

A full Georgian khachapuri — basically a canoe of cheesy, eggy, buttery bread — consumed entirely by me. No shame. 10/10. Would do it again.

Day 2: Getting Out Of Dodge (But in our Peugeot)

Itinerary:

Fled Bishkek in our trusty (read: slightly wheezy) Peugeot and made the 4-hour drive to Kyzart Village — the gateway to our horse trek and the unofficial start of “Are we lost yet?” 

Highlight:

Trotting into our first yurt camp amongst the “velvet hills,” and hiking through herds of wild horses to chase the setting sun. Also, the feeling of sweet relief when we met up with our trek guide, Sancho, and he was even more fun in person. We did a ton of internet research, and it really paid off!

Challenge(s):

• Ate our first ‘surprise meal’ that was cooked for us. No idea what was in it, but it was warm and didn’t fight back.
• The car engine threw a tantrum mid-highway. No roadside assistance, just the mechanic (me: a travel writer), the open road, and the bag of tools thrust my way along with the rental contract.
• Attempted to buy gas with zero Russian language skills. Thank you, Google Translate, for preventing a preemptive mental breakdown.
• Kash, my travel partner and colleague, would probably say that her greatest challenge was battling a complete stomach revolt. Multiple toilet stops, questionable facilities (if any) … yet she still got on the horse. Absolute legend.

Coolest Thing I Saw:

Actual lightning bolts in the same valley as us — close enough that our guide casually suggested turning off our phones. Is that science? No clue. Did we do it immediately? Absolutely. Also: wild horses roaming like they owned the place. Because they do.

Most Surprising Thing I Ate:

A mystery meat broth that was either beef, yak, or… probably something else with hooves. I didn’t ask. I just slurped and hoped for the best.

Day 3: Sorest Butts From Here to China

Itinerary: 

Five hours on horseback in the rain to our next jailoo (high mountain pasture).

Slipping and sliding over a 3,400m mountain pass. Questioning every life choice that led to this moment — and why we didn’t think to bring waterproof gloves. I did think to bring a waterproof rain skirt though, which led to lots of teasing (on my friend’s part) and then lots of smugness (on my part).

Highlight: 

Stretching out on a blanket under a waning moon with a stranger I’d just met, swapping stories and chatting about life. Later, curled up in my yurt, warmed by a manure fire (yes, that’s a thing), reading my book while rain poured outside.

Challenge(s):

• Trying to mount my horse again. I’ve never been so aware of my glutes.
  
• My poor travel partner was down for the count — fever, chills, couldn’t move from the bed. We worked with the camp to bring her hot water bottles like we were running a medieval infirmary.

• Navigated a fog-choked, icy mountain pass where visibility was no greater than one horse’s butt-length ahead. Horses were slipping toward the cliff’s edge. Honestly, terrifying. Also: somehow epic.

Coolest Thing I Saw:

Wild horses and their foals galloping across the hills. Also, standing in fog so thick I could barely see my own boots — it felt like we’d ridden straight into another dimension.

Most Surprising Thing I Ate:

Manti! Aka Kyrgyz dumplings — hot, fresh, doughy little pockets of joy.

Day 4: Polar Dipping in Paradise

Itinerary:

Wrapped up our horse trek with one last ride (and a dip) in Song-Kul Lake. Then things took a turn: my friend needed medical attention, so our guide went allllll the way back to the Kyzart Village, retrieved our rental, and then drove it through ice fields and over that same 3,400m pass. We barely survived on horseback all the way back to the start again. Plot twist: it was a “4x4” in name only. Scariest drive of my life. 

Highlight:

Galloping along the shore of Song-Kul like a shampoo commercial goddess.

Oh — and taking my horse, Sulu, in for a swim. Yes, a polar dip. Yes, I stayed on. No, I’ll never recover from the icy temps.

Challenge(s):

• The drive back over the icy pass was an adrenaline-soaked nightmare. At one point, I genuinely thought: “Well, this is how I go”.
• The bathrooms? Somehow still getting more rustic.

Coolest Thing I Saw:

A legit Kyrgyz beer run mid-emergency evac. Our driver tossed beer (stored in a 4L Sprite bottle, obviously) across a river to some locals at a neighbouring yurt camp. It was so cool to see yurt camp bartering.

Most Surprising Thing I Ate:

Hands down, the best bread of my life. Served at our guide’s mother’s house after making it back in one piece to Kyzart. 10/10 fresh, warm, crusty perfection..

Day 5: A Brief Foray Into Kyrgyz Healthcare

Itinerary: 

Took my friend to a town doctor, which happened to be in some random woman’s kitchen, picked up some meds, drove 3 hours to Naryn, the last real signs of civilization in the mountains. 

Highlight: 

I got the craziest and best massage of my life in an abandoned (looking) warehouse in town, while her friend played Candy Crush, and they chatted above my barely covered bottom.

Challenge(s): 

• Driving through the mountains! Many semi-truck accidents where the vehicle was just abandoned in the middle of the highway. 
• Finding a doctor in the middle of nowhere, getting a prescription from said “doctor” and translating it from Kyrgyz-Russian to English. All while having no idea if we had actually explained Kash’s symptoms correctly, or what the prescription was even for.

Coolest thing I saw: 

A Coca-Cola ad… made entirely out of loose stones. Because why not? When life gives you rocks, use them for branding!

Most surprising thing I ate: 

Vegetables! And not just any veggies, but the crispiest, hottest, spiciest tempura eggplant, after days of meat/bread/dairy overload.

Day 6: Off-Roading So Far It Became “Off-Mapping”

Itinerary: 

Took the road less travelled (literally) to Kok-Kiya Valley and spent the night at a mountain camp. No fancy roads here—just adventure!

Highlight(s): 

• Drinking mugs of vodka while snow flurried around the cozy gathering yurt. 
• A Kyrgyz guide leading a tour group took me under his wing, and he even convinced me to stand up and give a toast—which turned into such a special moment. 
• My friend, Kash, was getting sicker and finally had to make the decision to return to Bishkek for medical care. This only made the ‘highlights’ list because it pushed me to make friends with the receptionist at our mountain inn, who decided last-minute to join me on the expedition. 

Challenge(s): 

• Off-roading using GPS coordinates found on the internet = a legit survival game. 
• Showing up at the yurt camp to find… no yurts. Nada. We had to get creative. There’s nothing quite like trying to talk an innkeeper into letting two unexpected guests stay, on a very limited budget (no ATMs in the middle of nowhere), in a language I don’t speak!
• Sweating gas usage like it was liquid gold—I may or may not have ended up talking a border official into donating a sneaky Coke bottle of fuel. 

Coolest thing I saw: 

Golden marmots everywhere! As soon as we hit 3000 meters, these little guys were popping up like it was their own personal party.

Most surprising thing I ate: 

Yak and horse meat. Not my favourite, but I tasted it!

Day 7: Return to Civilization (Sort of)

Itinerary: 

Started the day on horseback to the stunning Kel-Suu Lake, then braved six hours of off-road mud madness back to Naryn. And then treated myself to a bonus two-hour drive to the town of Kochkor to get a head start on the cross-country drive the next day.

Highlight: 

Waking up to sunshine sparkling on fresh snow like some kind of high-altitude fairytale. Arriving at Kel-Suu, right near the Chinese border, and realizing: I actually made it. Just me, my determination, and a wildly unreliable (knowledge of how to read) GPS. 

Challenge(s): 

• Oh, where to begin? A casual mud marathon of a drive
• A snow-glare sunburn that lit my face on fire
• White-knuckling it through pitch black mountain passes. 

Bonus round? Rolling into Kochkor at 11:15pm with no hotel, no internet, no backup plan, and no idea if Kash was even still alive. I ended up calling a random guesthouse number I had scribbled down and winging a conversation in Russian to ask if I could crash at their place. As you do.

Coolest thing I saw: 

Yak everywhere! Just strolling up to Kel-Suu without a care in the world.

Most surprising thing I ate: 

Chips and granola bars... for lunch and dinner. Turns out, everything was closed. Moral of the story? Never underestimate the power of stuffing snacks into every bag, pocket, and glove compartment you’ve got.

Day 8: Banyas, Beds, and Bliss in Bishkek

Itinerary: 

Wrapped up the trip with a four-hour drive back to Bishkek. Made a pit stop for some shockingly good KFC, and marvelled at the boundless poppy fields along the way. Checked into a swanky 4-star hotel with a bed so comfy it should be illegal, reunited with Kash, then hit up a banya for some serious steam healing.

Highlight: 

The banya experience was enlightening. I made fast friends with a savvy local who schooled me on leaf-whacking etiquette—yes, that’s a thing. I loved pushing myself outside my comfort zone. Also… room service! Mattress! Pool!

Challenge(s): 

• Battling the chaotic traffic and sneaky speed traps of Bishkek (apparently speed limits are mere suggestions here). 
• Hitting the banya solo, despite warnings that it would make me look “like a real loser.” (A helpful expat explained to me that in Kyrgyzstan, going to the banya is a community activity, and is more about spending time with friends than anything else.)
• Finally, reuniting with Kash, who’d taken a sketchy taxi back from Naryn—cue a dramatic “You’re alive!” door-opening moment.

Coolest thing I saw: 

Endless fields of wild red poppies stretching into the mountains, looking like nature’s very own red carpet.

Most surprising thing I ate: 

That KFC—crispy, juicy, and basically the best fried chicken I didn’t know I needed.

Day 9: From Yurt Pads to Pillow-Tops

Itinerary: 

Took a breather in Bishkek—tracked down a long-lost relative who’d moved here in the 90s, wandered the markets, and squeezed in one last blissful massage.

Highlight: 

Shopping for Russian Matryoshka dolls like a pro. Returning the rental car with no new dings (basically a miracle). Plus, staying in a 5-star hotel without needing to sell a kidney…

Challenges: 

• People, people everywhere. This was especially jarring after 8 days in the wilderness.
• Shopping was a full-contact sport, with crowds swarming every aisle. 
• Trying to nab a taxi in the chaos of downtown Bishkek? Pure madness. 
• And the markets? A five-story maze stuffed to the brim with everything from samovars to knock off sneakers. 

Coolest thing I saw: 

A Soviet-era sickle, tucked away in a corner of the market. Did I buy it, even though I was travelling carry-on only, and then had to buy another suitcase to get it home? Absolutely.

Most surprising thing I ate: 

Chocolate from Yahya’s. Lemon-yuzu, raspberry-balsamic, tea-infused—you name it, I devoured it. Basically, Yahya’s is my new addiction.

In the end, it wasn’t just the altitude that took my breath away — it was the wildness of it all. The endless mountains. The strangers who became companions. The freezing fog, the burning thighs, the mysterious meals. Kyrgyzstan didn’t just push me out of my comfort zone — it obliterated it, and replaced it with something far more raw, real, and unforgettable.

Adventure isn’t always Instagrammable. It’s messy, unpredictable, and sometimes smells like yak milk and muscle rub.