The Harsh Realities of a Dream Trip & The Great Airport Debate

Hi there, Travellers,

I hope you're all easing back into post-holiday life without too much stress. No such luck here at Jack's HQ, I'm afraid, as our team of eagle-eyed Navigators keep spotting yet more special January offerings from the airlines.

Suffice it to say, this edition of The Detour nearly didn't get to you today, as I got distracted debating with myself about grabbing non-stop flights to South Korea.

It was a close call, but in the end, I decided I would wait to see what Pegasus Airlines offers up for the Caucasus and Central Asia when their sale rolls around at the end of the month. And as a bonus, you all get to read about Navigator Akasha's experiences from the last time their January sale lured us in...

Happy travels and safe landings,

An old Kyrgyz woman turned from the stove, a red-hot spoon steaming in her hand. Before I could flinch, she loomed over me, her calloused hands holding my chin with a vice-like grip, and she pressed the scalding metal to the back of my throat. 

I hear my father’s voice echoing in my head, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”. 

I wish I could tell you that she was a witch doctor, a hoarder of jars and remedial elixirs promising to restore the HP of weary, wide-eyed travelers. But truthfully, I was too weak to ask. And nor did I care. I was too transfixed by the spectral shapes circling us, fairly certain they were shadows only I could see.

Four days earlier, medical access was the furthest thing from my mind. I was scurrying across Bishkek’s streets with my friend and colleague, Kristi, on the hunt for our 4×4 rental. We had met for the first time in real life just a few days earlier, having planned this insane trip over Slack. 

Pixelated camaraderie and a dirt-cheap Pegasus winter sale convinced us that the next logical step was to commit to ten days mostly off-grid in a ‘Stan. What followed were months of deeply philosophical debate between riding skirts and rain pants, seat savers versus padded cycling shorts. 

The only sane solution? Bring it all.

Now, armed with a list of off-road coordinates and a bag of mechanical tools thrust our way with a Russian rental contract, we chuckled at the sheer absurdity of our gamble and hit the road smiling. The next four days would be entirely out of service and off-grid. 

Our plan was to drive 4.5 hours from Bishkek to a village called Kyzart, meet our guide, and start our horse trek into the Tian Shan. We would stay in traditional yurts with nomadic herders, something I’ve always wanted to do, and make our final ascent to the alpine lake of Song Kul. 

After the trek, we’d head another 5 hours south to the town of Naryn and spend the night at a hostel. Next, we’d drive off-road deeper into the mountains to guide us through the Kok Kiya valley toward one of Kyrgyzstan’s most stunning remote lakes, Köl-Suu.

We’d need a special border permit to cross a military checkpoint (it’s located near a sensitive border zone near China), a few gallons of extra fuel, and old-school coordinates to guide us. No biggie. 

Soon enough, I'd discover that I needn't have worried about that permit... 

Driving in Bishkek is a touch above beginner level. I had only just gotten my full license a month prior, and so I happily let Kristi take the wheel in what can only be described as Russian roulette. 

“Oh god, Kash, where are the lanes?” she mumbled, half-drowned by the incessant shrill of honking horns and screeching tires. The only thing soothing her anxiety? Taylor Swift, of course. 

Turns out, the only thing I needed to do to experience culture shock was to plop myself in the passenger seat of a Toyota, eyes wide at the blur of life unfolding, “Anti-Hero” crackling on the radio. I could’ve saved myself some serious saddle burn.

Genghis Khan statues, hawkers dishing out roadside plov. Overturned transport trucks, twisted carcasses on asphalt. Mosques pressed against Orthodox churches. Wild horses completely unbothered by it all. 

“Arggggh, are we driving on the left or the right? Why are those guys driving on the right?” 

“Ummm, maybe it’s both?” 

“Woah, are those billboards made from rocks? Cool!”

“Should I go? Do I have time to merge?” “Go, go, go!”

“Wait, is that a baby?” 

The biggest culture shock, however, wasn’t Bishkek’s vehicular chaos. I had lived in Mexico. I thought I knew things. I had spent two years acclimated to the toilet paper bin. I took whatever the street-food gods threw at me. But nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared me for Kyrgyz toilets.

Allow me to rephrase: Nothing on God’s green earth had prepared me for Kyrgyz ROADSIDE toilets. I won’t go into detail here; some things are better left unspoken. But heed these words of advice: Brace yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Don’t breathe. Don’t look down. Remember, it’ll be over soon (probably).  

And for the love of all things holy, empty your pockets. 

Keep reading...

Oops, we did it again. We asked our Facebook community a big question, and we should have known that they'd only go and answer. That big question? Which airports do you think are the best and worst in the world?

Nobody will be surprised to hear that Singapore Changi Airport is a popular choice. After all, it has been named Best Airport in the World by Skytrax 13 times. It has a butterfly garden, a cactus garden, an indoor waterfall. And it's actually quite nice. 

Other airports getting a shout-out include everywhere from Osaka to Alicante, Schiphol to St. John's. 

One (very confused) Traveller even seemed to think London Heathrow was great, but plenty more piled in to condemn it to the seventh circle of hell, where it belongs. I personally am right onboard with that assessment, as the sharper minded among you may recall from my 2023 rant about BA and, by extension, Heathrow. 

So tell us, readers — which airports would you nominate for the titles of best or worst in the world, and why? Jump into the comments or drop us an email to share your thoughts. 

Plus: Inking Abroad

After last week's travel tattoo stories, a few of you were keen to write in and suggest we discourage getting tattoos abroad due to the risk of contracting hepatitis A & B, HIV, or infections.

Health concerns are always important to take into consideration. However, what I'd like to do instead, is recommend the exact same as I would to anyone getting a tattoo in their home country: do your research and get informed before going under the needle. 

Pick a studio and artist with positive reviews. Make sure you're satisfied with the cleanliness and hygiene standards, e.g. that they use sterile, single-use equipment, and that you feel comfortable in the environment.  

Beyond the artist and studio, it's also on you to ensure that you'll be in a position to give the tattoo the necessary aftercare during your trip. That means keeping it clean, moisturised, out of the sun and swimming pool, among other things.

Tattooing is an ancient art that has been practiced all over the world for thousands of years. If we choose to take part, regardless of where in the world that may occur, it is on each of us to do the risk assessment. 

And in case you were wondering, here are some of the tattoo artists around the world that I would gladly hop on a plane to visit:

• Sollefe - Based at Papaya Tattoo Studio in Hamburg, I've already synced up three visits to the Hanseatic city with ink appointments. The one above is my fave. 
• Max Murphy - Absolutely worth the detour to Ellicott City next time you're visiting Washington, D.C., I'd say. Problem is, it's super hard to get an appointment!
• Suflanda - Like getting an ornate children's storybook character etched into your skin, it's definitely worth booking an appointment first and then planning your trip to Manchester around it.
• PittaKKM - As though I needed any more reason to visit Seoul, these colourful ornamental designs and whimsical clouds lure me in a little more every day.
• RitKit - If you're having a "Live, Laugh, Love" moment in Bali, this is the artist who'll help connect you with nature for good, using real plants as stencils. 

So, readers, are there any tattoo artists you'd travel for? Or is there something similar that you'd hop on a plane for a chance to be part of? Let us know below :-)

All the important (or silly, or strange) travel news from across web this week.

• Slope fiends, assemble! Someone's only gone and done the research on whether it's actually more affordable to go skiing in Europe or the USA, and we finally have an answer: it depends.
  
  
• There's a new entry for the shortest scheduled widebody service in Europe: At just 53 nautical miles, Ethiopian now flies from Geneva to Lyon. 
  
  
• It's been a hard week in the skies over the UK and Europe, with hundreds of flights cancelled due to freezing conditions. Bad news for anyone hoping to travel this weekend: it ain't getting better...
  
  
• The most punctual airlines in the world have been named, and for the second year in a row, Aeromexico takes the global win. 
  
  
• And finally, potential competition seems to be scaring Eurostar into action. But are they all talk, or will these new routes actually come to fruition? Guess we'll find out sometime in the 2030s...